Merry "fucking" Christmas you bunch of swine!Thats right - December 25th is right around the corner; that time of year when the Christian world celebrates the birth of that weird dude named Jebus.
I am no Christian, nor am I Muslim, Buddhist or Jew. Although, if I had to pick one, Buddhism seems like the way to go. Don't do shit, just be nice to people and puppy dogs and trees?
Easily done.
But I have to thank our Pagan/Christian forefathers for Christmas, as it does seem a fitting way to end the year.
So, whilst I couldn't give two fucks (well, maybe two) about Christ, God, Mary the Whore or a donkey in a manger, I am grateful for the day off!
Which brings me to my next point: The Pope.
What a cunt that guy is.I've been to Vatican City, it's alright.
And there's a sweet pizza shop just down the road.
Today, His Holiness Pope Anal Bandit XVII gave his end of year speech about several things.
One of these topics was about the gays.Now, I am no bum-bandit. I don’t care if you’re an uphill gardener, a chocolate starfish farmer or a fudge packing gender bender.
But whatever your sexual delights, unless its straight out normal cock and minge, then those scheming Catholics won’t have a bar of it.
The Roman Catholic Church teaches that, while homosexuality is not sinful, homosexual acts are.
So basically that means you can be gay, just don’t suck a dick, take it up the bum, hold hands or do any other typically gay stuff. I guess dressing up ip in mesh singlets and PVC pants is ok then, as that’s just bad fashion.
So, Mr Pope, your views are quite clear.So why is it that so many of your bishops, cardinals and other “men of the faith” insist on touching, molesting, seducing, sodomising and generally fucking small boys?
Hmmm, no answer to that eh?
Strange how you don’t really hear about rabbis or whatever the Muslim equivalent is doing similar things to their followers. But then again, I suppose considering these religions (along with Hinduism and Buddhism) have been around for so much longer, they probably got it out of the way before the invention of the internet, or newspapers. Or maybe it’s because those religions are based on something a little more fundamental that a book which was supposedly written in like 40AD but only published in 400AD once the final version had been agreed upon? AGREED UPON?
I can just see how that process went.
“So, where do we put the part about being able to rape small boys? Before or after Jesus rises from his grave?”
“Er, well, after I guess. Maybe somewhere near the end.”
“Yeah, but hide it amongst some really boring passages, so no one actually takes notice. Then when we get caught fiddling with the altarboys, we can claim it’s in the Bible, therefore it MUST be true.”
“Good idea, Father Sodomiser.”
“Now, hide these scrolls near the Dead Sea. Lets face it –it’s not our best work. And take that Shroud that we painted and dump it somewhere near Turin. Those crazy Italians love a good mystery!”
“Viva le France!”
Yep, I am pretty sure that’s how it went down.
So, to sum up:
Raping boys – WRONG
Being a Catholic – WRONG
Being a Jew – OK
See you in 09!
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