I am attempting to write this as the glare from "Tha Sun" streams through my window and blinds my poor eyes - curse you Ra!

Currently we are in the midst of "the worst storm since that movie The Ice Storm" and I can tell you, it's not that much fun!

My pants got wet walking to the car to go & get my lunch! No one enjoys wet pants.

Also causing me grief is the recent loss to Barnsley in the FA Cup - c'mon Chelsea, you should have crushed those scummy Northerners!

And what's the deal with driver's letting you cross a road when it's not even a green man??
This is something that fucks me off NO END!
Case and point: On a recent trip to a trendy west London shopping street, my compadre Dave the Knave and I were about to cross the rod, when we noticed a car turning into the street we were attempting to cross. As there were no traffic lights, we duly began to "wait" for the car to finish turning before we continued with the crossing.
HOWEVER this driver obviously decided he was too good to obey the "biggest mass wins" rule (the rule that states if you are a car, then buses/trucks/sumo wrestlers get right of way. If you are a human (not crossing at a green man signal or a zebra crossing), then anything bigger than you gets to go first) and waved us through.
I initially protested and gave the "No, you go ahead" wave only to have the "Seriously, I am letting you cross because I am a retard" gesture shown back to me.
I feel most sorry for the driver behind this fuckwit, because he could have turned into this street, parked, cooked lasagne and made sweet love to his wife in the time he was kept waiting, had the prick in front not insisted on waiting for the fucking slow pedestrians to cross in front of him.

I am a car driver, and if anyone tries to cross in front of me when they shouldn't, I either hit them or honk very loudly.

So, car drivers, do not let people cross in front of you when they shouldn't, because if one of those people you let cross happens to be me, I'll take a shit on your bonnet.


And for all those who claim they didn't know: I fucking love fruit (excluding pineapple, grapefruit and feijoa's)