Greetings loyal Furyites (that's the name for anyone who enjoys fury as much as me!)
Peado Jim here wth more tales of anger to keep you warm on the outside and furious on the inside!
So, this morning, I am on my way to work. I usually enjoy the drive to work because:
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I get to listen to Radio 1, and laugh at Chris Moyles (today he had Gordon Ramsey on, it was entertaining)
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I can collect my thoughts before a busy day ahead while stuck in traffic on the M4
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Sometimes I find bits of breakfast that have dribbled down my chin and I eat them and it's like Breakfast 2: The Revenge
However, this particular morning, some fucking fucker cut me off in the merging lane! I was indicating left and was attempting to 'merge like a zip' (something we NZer's do very well) and this fuckwit wouldn't let me across! So I honked the horn, swore at him and he didn't even notice!
I swear to Buddha - if I ever see you again, driver of a forest green Merc 4x4, who was going to Chiswick via the Hogarth Roundabout this morning, I will forcibly insert 35 pairs of needle nosed pliers into various cavaties on your body.
Learn to drive, or I'll teach you to cry by using violence against you and your children, and any children that your children may have.
And then I'll build a time machine, go back to your 8th birthday (when you probably got some sort of fucking fuckwit cake) and smash your head in with a Big Bertha driver.
Anyhow....
On a brighter (and sadly, less furious) note - Christmas is almost upon us!
Being that I abhor any form of organized religion (except possibly Judaism; something about them makes me like them - possiby it's their hatred of Islam) I do not celebrate Christmas in the sense of celebrating the supposed birthday of this fictional Jesus H.Christ we all hear so much about.
I celebrate Xmas (I believe that's the atheist version) as a time to eat, drink, argue and generally enjoy not being at work.
So, on this last Wednesday before Xmas, I say Stinkbugs to you all!
Good Bile!
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